Tennessee’s God-Given Right to Gay Bowling Leagues

It’s been months since I’ve posted here on Bluenecks. I’ve been busy with other projects, family vacation, my other blogs, blah blah blah. I’ve missed rattling on about things, but Gary has kept things rolling quite well in my absence.

I’m finally back, blogging about the latest effort by the extreme right to divide and conquer America: banning gay marriage. This is an issue that gets people pretty riled up, but it shouldn’t. I say if you don’t like gay marriage, then don’t have one. It’s really no more threatening to you than that. I mean, what are folks really afraid of, that gay people will do boring married stuff like the rest of us? I mean, if Jerry Falwell really wants to curb “the gay lifestyle,” wouldn’t he want all of “them” to start recycling, join bowling leagues, and buy SUVs?

I’ve spent some time — at least the time since breakfast — thinking about marriage on three levels: personal, civil, and spiritual. Here’s my take on things.

Marriage is a personal commitment. When my wife decided to spend the rest of her mornings with my coffee breath and bad hair, it was a commitment that I still can’t really fathom. At its heart marriage is a wonderfully insane idea, like electing a decent President. And we can’t exactly blame the 50% divorce rate on gay marriage, right? I think we straight folks managed that all on our own.

The spiritual aspect of marriage is unaffected by this November’s vote or any other. If we believe our relationship is more than just legal cohabitation — and don’t we all believe that? — it comes from a higher power than the Tennessee Legislature. It’s obvious that spiritual marriage is completely unaffected by what other couples do, gay or straight.

So that brings us to the only aspect of marriage in question in November: the civil aspect. This was the part of marriage that I paid the least attention to when Karen and I got all lacy and tuxy and everyone statrted tossing rice, flowers, and garter belts. But our marriage licence gives my wife and I the right to split up any money, debts, and all our other stuff fifty-fifty, including my unopened boxes of crap from graduate school. It gives us equal parenting privileges for our two daughters. It gives us the right to share health insurance benefits, inheritance without a will, and lots of other rights so basic that I’m probably forgetting some of them right now. We know couples who lack those same rights because they are the same sex. If their child gets hurt at school and has to go to the hospital, at least one of the parents can find out nothing more than her name, rank, and serial number from the hospital.

These civil rights are what we are voting on in November, and what all Tennesseans deserve equally under the law. It’s basic democracy folks, and fair-minded Tennesseans get that. This law will not change people’s personal or spiritual commitments, but a successful amendment banning gay marriage in Tennessee will limit the rights of law-abiding, tax-paying citizens of our state. So whether or not you like the idea of boys marrying boys and girls marrying girls, vote “no” on TN 1 in November. It’s good for democracy, it’s good for Tennessee, and it’s simply the right thing to do.

Take a Stand
If you agree that equal marriage rights are important, go to Vote No On 1 and take the pledge there. I did it and you can to. Our state is too important to us to let the extreme right control it.